


Hold On

by saltyfandombrat



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon character deaths, Hurt/Comfort, OG Sunset Curve, Sunset Curve, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27549409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltyfandombrat/pseuds/saltyfandombrat
Summary: Yet, no tears sprang to his eyes, there was no dramatic point of breaking like he saw in all the movies. He hated himself for that. His mother just told him all his friends had died, his brothers were gone, and he couldn't even shed a tear for them. It left a bad taste in his mouth, they deserved more of a reaction than this, but he just couldn't bring himself to break down over what had happened. Maybe he was just in shock, he tried to reason with himself as he nuzzled against his mom, the tears would come once all of this had actually set in for him. But the tears never came.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Hold On

Bobby didn't cry the night of the Orpheum. He didn't even know anything was wrong that night, of course, he knew something was wrong. His bandmates wouldn't just bail on him, but he didn't know the extent of what had happened. In his mind, he figured they had gotten into some trouble or maybe even just distracted. Without his band, he took the stage that night and played their music to the best of his abilities. It didn't sound right, not just because of all the missing instruments, but because of the simple fact that Sunset Curve was supposed to be playing and they weren't. Bobby was just playing. 

Regardless, he got through the set and it didn't sound too bad, people cheered and hollered for him as his final song ended. A man dressed in a suit pulled him aside after he had gotten off stage and spoke to him for a while. Looking back on it, Bobby couldn't remember this man's name or really even any details about what he said, but he did remember that the man thought he was good and wanted to sign him onto some contract. He didn't accept it at the time, he remembered saying he was a part of a band, he needed their input and that they were a package deal. The man gave him a card and he promised to call him once they talked it over. 

It was late before Bobby got home and when he did arrive back, his dad was sat in the living room and waiting on him, wanting to make sure he had gotten home safely before he went to bed. His dad pressed a kiss to his forehead and told him he loved him before he dragged himself up the stairs, falling down into his bed and feeling more exhausted than he ever had before, not even bothering to pull up the blankets before he was falling asleep. Sun was pouring through his window and that was what woke him up, the bright orange light hitting his face way too early and he groaned, but his throat was dry and he trudged back down the stairs to the kitchen for water. 

Unsurprisingly, Bobby found his mother when he walked into the kitchen and she had the house phone up to her ear, listening to somebody talk for a while. Nothing was out of the ordinary there, but when she turned to face him, his eyebrows furrowed when he saw tears running down her face. He felt more awake now and before he could ask her what was wrong, she was hanging up the phone and pulling him into her, a hand on his neck pressing his face into her neck as she cried. Bony fingers pushed through his hair and it seemed like an eternity before she found her voice again, time seeming to move painfully slow as he wrapped his arms around her. 

"There was an accident." Her words were shaking as she spoke and all Bobby could think was that he didn't understand, but no words crossed his lips as she continued holding him. "There was...There was something wrong with some food they ate." There were other words in the middle of her explanation, things his mind deemed unimportant and simply ignored, thoughts racing through his head. He waited and waited, waited for her to say that they were just sick or that they would be fine, but the way she was crying said otherwise and those words never came. "They're gone, honey," was all he got instead. 

His head hurt. His eyes hurt. His chest hurt. Everything hurt. Yet, no tears sprang to his eyes, there was no dramatic point of breaking like he saw in all the movies. He hated himself for that. His mother just told him all his friends had died, his brothers were gone, and he couldn't even shed a tear for them. It left a bad taste in his mouth, they deserved more of a reaction than this, but he just couldn't bring himself to break down over what had happened. Maybe he was just in shock, he tried to reason with himself as he nuzzled against his mom, the tears would come once all of this had actually set in for him. But the tears never came. 

Hours went by, his mother insisting he stay home from school that day and he didn't really think he would focus anyway, yet he didn't cry. He eventually laid back down and caught up on the sleep he had missed, snoozing through the day and only waking up when it was already dark outside. There was a dinner plate on the bedside table along with a bottle of his favorite soda at the time, but he didn't feel hungry and couldn't feel excited at the time. Simply grabbing his cigarettes and lighter, he opened up the bedroom window and leaned out of it to avoid getting the smell of smoke in the house, eyes staring up at the dim stars as he smoked. Still, nothing happened. 

Three days after the Orpheum, Mitch and Emily had a funeral for Luke. It was closed casket and the only funeral that was held for his boys. He stood alone in the cemetery after everyone else had cleared out, eventually sitting down in front of the grave, fingers idly stroking over the grass. He felt like he should say something, but no words came to him as he stared at the freshly dug dirt. So, he didn't force himself to and sat there in silence, simply hoping that Luke knew he was loved wherever he ended up. There had been so many people there, fans, family, classmates, teachers. Everyone in tears. Everyone except for him. 

Bobby didn't know how long he had been sitting there, but his car was deathly silent as he drove himself home, the radio off and the only sound filling the air was his soft breathing. He finished his homework fairly quickly and stood beneath the warm spray of the shower for far too long, but that felt like all he was doing these days. There wasn't much else to do, there wasn't much else he felt like doing. Some days, even getting out of bed felt like a chore. It was strange. He hadn't cried, he hadn't felt sad exactly, he just felt unmotivated. He dreamt of the band that night, nothing dramatic or foreboding, just of them in band rehearsal. All of them laughing and playing. 

When he woke up from his dream, he didn't jerk awake or feel shaken to his core or anything of the stuff he read about in books when people were dealing with death. He didn't really feel anything, he felt fine. That day, he wanted to go visit the Pattersons, but he couldn't. There was nothing to say and he didn't think he could deal with them, he would feel awful if he showed he couldn't express sadness, not when Mitch seemed like all the life had been sucked out of him and Emily hadn't stopped crying for very long in the past few days. The thought of standing before them now made his chest tighten and a feeling of anxiety setting in. 

On the fifth day after the Orpheum, Bobby picked up the card that was in his jacket pocket, dialing the number of the agent. They spoke for what felt like hours, he tried initially to tell the guy that Sunset Curve couldn't sign on to any labels because there wasn't a Sunset Curve anymore. The agent said he understood that Sunset Curve couldn't sign any contracts, but Bobby Montgomery could. He was eighteen after all, he didn't even have to ask his parents, he shouldn't let this hold him back. _They would want him to carry on with their music._ He could make it big if he just agreed to come sign some papers. But he hung up the phone, ignoring the agents calls after that. 

In the following days, Bobby thought a lot about what the agent had told him on the phone and no matter how hard he tried to, he couldn't see a single lie in what the man had told him. If Luke were here, if Reggie were here, if Alex were here, they would all want him to carry on and pursue his dreams...But if they were here, he wouldn't be in this mess, he wouldn't have to do it alone if they were here. They weren't. He put the thoughts out of his mind and refused to call the agent back, he just couldn't do that. Hell, he hadn't even been in their studio since the boys had passed away, let alone actually played since they died. All his motivation was gone. But he was fine. 

It was nearly a month after the night of the Orpheum before Bobby actually entered their-his-studio once again. His mother gave him an odd look, somewhere between worry and sympathy, as he walked through outside and to the garage. The air was cold in the studio and he was sure he had never heard it being so quiet before. He didn't know what he was doing for a moment, unsure of what to do with himself, but he picked up his guitar and took a seat on the couch. Taking a deep breath, he began tuning his guitar and it felt nice, he hadn't realized how much he had missed playing guitar. The happiness from that felt dull, though, like it was buried deep inside. 

As Bobby plucked away at the strings, he zoned out as he stared at the wall of extra equipment across from him, the amps sitting on the floor, the extra guitar straps, picks and cords laid strewn out on the counter there. His mind was empty as he stared at them, he wasn't sure if he was even blinking or how long he had been looking in that direction, it was like he had just completely checked out of his own head. His fingers continued moving over the strings, no longer tuning it, just pulling strings. He was certain they were just random ones too. The only thing that brought him out of it was hearing his mother's voice calling his name from the garage door. 

"Are you okay, honey?" His mother asked him and he was fine. His eyes looked over her for a moment before glancing up at the clock, it said that an hour and a half or so had passed, but that didn't feel right. There was no way he had been staring at the corner for nearly two hours straight, it felt like five minutes had passed, at most. He was fine. No answer was given and his name was being said again. His eyebrows were furrowed as he stared at the clock in disbelief and he didn't know why, but that was all it took to finally push him over the edge. He didn't even feel any signs that he was about to cry before his cheeks were wet, tears streaming down his face. 

The strap of his guitar was being removed and his mother was pulling the instrument away, setting it down on the floor as she stood in front of him. A sob escaped him as she pulled him in and his head rested against her stomach, her arm wrapping around his shoulders and she rubbed against his back. She was saying something, but none of the words registered. Nothing was going through his mind as he just cried, his whole body trembling there. He hated himself, where had all these tears been when he found out they were gone? When he sat at Luke's grave? All the times he passed by Alex's house? Every time he saw Reggie's clothes hanging in his closet? 

"It's going to be okay, baby." She assured him, those words did reach his mind, but it only made him laugh. His own noises sounded nearly hysterical as he laughed for way too long, sounding like he really had snapped. He didn't know how she could say that when this would never be okay. Nothing was going to bring his friends back to him. He didn't argue with her about it, though, simply tightened his arms around her and cried harder. Less than a month later, his father told him that they were moving. He never stepped back into the studio after he had broken down in it, not even to get any of their instruments. Rose could just have them when she moved in. 


End file.
